(LIGHTS UP on an empty stage as music plays) ANNOUNCER: It’s the Tonight Show with Wayne Smith! And your host...Wayne Smith! (WAYNE comes out. He is trying to look presentable but failing.) WAYNE: Hey! Hey everybody!!! Oh, we’re gonna have. We’re gonna have a fun show tonight. We couldn’t get any guests, the doors are still sealed. Jimmy, as you know, he’s not, he’s not here anymore. I used to be his assistant but now I’m the host! Which to be honest was always my dream, but it didn’t seem plausible! But I guess a lot of things are plausible now. So, what’s in, what’s in the news? There’s food everywhere, and it’s always hot! How hot is it? It...it burns your mouth. Don’t eat it. He put it there. It’s...the cold food is the only food we know is safe. President Trump is in the news, he’s lost all density. He’s still subject to gravity but he goes through things and things go through him. He’s desperately hungry and thirsty and his screams...when you hear them something inside you changes. I guess we should talk about, you know, God. Coming out of the sky like that. Telling us how much he loves us. How much he forgives us. I wept! Who didn’t? It was...it was the best moment of my life. I thought for sure we were all gonna....gonna go up to heaven. So when it came out and it ate him, yeah, I threw up and in my confusion, my horror, I tried to eat it. I thought eating my puke would make it so the thing didn’t eat God. It just snuck up behind him and sliced his head off, swallowed it whole. He started glowing and now he’s God. Mister Razors is God now. When we pray, it is to Mister Razors. Before he got ate, God said the meaning of life was to create love and to spread love. Now that Mister Razors is God, the meaning of life is to find as many ways to hurt your genitals as possible. Mister Razors says every human lives for a thousand years now. Instead of reproducing sexually, we have to find babies and we have to dig for them and it seems cruel to make a baby live in this world but too many underground babies is how earthquakes happen now. We found a tour group downstairs and they’re gonna be the guests for, however long it takes to get the doors open, and they seem great, you’re gonna love them. We’re gonna bring them out and talk about our lives. The one remaining Root is gonna play some music. We’ll play a trivia game and whoever wins gets to slam my penis into a George Foreman grill. It’s gonna be a great show! (BLACKOUT)