(LIGHTS UP on SMALL WALLACE sitting down on a chair. He has a BROOKLYN ACCENT.)

Well it’s very nice to meet you Regina, you look gorgeous, did you have any trouble finding the place, did you take the train, a cab? I would love to ride in a taxi cab but it’s very hard for me being as I am just one simple inch tall. They don’t stop for me! You can’t get mad about these things, that’s how I feel, you have to have a positive attitude. Like the other day, a falcon grabs me, right? And if I were such as a mouse or a worm it would be the end for me but while I am just one simple inch tall I am a human man so I have good dexterity and I was able to free myself fairly easily and while I was at it I climbed on the falcon’s back! He thought I was his little treat after lunch but now he’s giving me a ride back to my home in Very Little Italy. Where do you live in the city, which neighborhood is home for you? Oh I love Bedstuy, it’s changed since I was a boy of course, when I was a boy you could get a slice of pastrami for nothing but a smile and rent was what, a nickel? Now of days even my apartment costs a hundred dollars a month, and it’s a literal shoebox, which is fair warning if all goes well we’ll probably need to go back to your place if you know what I mean. I’m not trying to be too forward of course. Oh it’s no problem for me that you are so humongous when compared to one such as I who is of course so small that I could and on many occasions have ridden a mouse the way you might ride a horse. When the man, the Dave Matthews sings your body is a wonderland he might be singing it but for me I do truly mean it, it would take me an hour to climb all the way up to your shoulder from your foot and I do like to explore. But please, my breath is taken by your beauty but it’s not just animal lust that brings me here tonight, I really liked your profile, the way you just sort of listed everything that makes you angry and no other information, it was very intimate. Ah, here comes our waiter now. Oh they know me here, I know better than to ask the world to accommodate me without a heads up. Marcel! Marcel, how’s the family? Judy still in college? Well, it’s not for everyone. I did go to college, I went to Yale but they had no idea of course. I kid, I kid, I went to SUNY. So the lady will have the chicken parmesan and I will have one half of one noodle.